The Art of Letting Go

It’s that time of year when kids are either back in school or preparing to return to school in the upcoming weeks. Time for carpool lines, homework, PTA meetings, sports and so much more. As I enter this stage of my life where my youngest is a Senior, I realized that things are not the same.

When my sons were young, I was able to make them wear what I wanted them to or get involved in the activities that I wanted them to get in to. Now, they are old enough to understand their own interest, likes and dislikes and not so much what I want. As moms, we look forward to the days when our children are self-sufficient and don’t need us as much, at the same time, we still yearn for them to need us.

I have recently come to understand and accept that I have to let go and allow them to grow, succeed, fail, learn, and figure out this thing called life. My role in their lives now is as an Advisor or Consultant. I don't want them to look back on their life and feel as though they made choices based on what I wanted. Instead, I want them to know that they are supported in making their own choices. I know there is no book on parenting and I’m sure we are all doing and have done our best. If we lead in love and support, then that’s what matters most. Trust that everything you have installed in your children over the years is there and they will refer to it when the time comes.

I believe that if we are all honest with ourselves our bigger concern is not that our children can’t make their own decisions and choose their own path but that we think we know what is best for them. And the reality is even if we are right about what is best for them. It’s still their lives to live and learn. We have our lives, and we have to allow them to determine theirs.

As my sons grew from boys to young men, I would often ask myself what did I want when I was their age? Was it a listening parent? More love? More Independence? A hug? Alone time?

I encourage you today, when you are having a tough time with what to say or do ask yourself the question: What did I want? Over the years, it has helped me be the mom that my kids needed me to be and not the mom I THOUGHT THEY NEEDED ME TO BE.